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Your Best Love, 5

Song of Songs 1 and 2

(selected verses)

Scripture Reading

Solomon’s Song of Songs.

Let him kiss me for his love is more delightful than wine.

Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;

your name is like perfume poured out.

No wonder the maidens love you!

Take me away with you—let us hurry!

I rejoice and delight in you;

I will praise your love more than wine.

I liken you, my darling, to a mare harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh.

Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels.

My beloved is a bouquet of wildflowers

picked just for me from the gardens of God

How beautiful you are, my darling!

Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

How handsome you are, my lover!

Oh, how charming you are!

My lover spoke and said to me,

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.

See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.

Flowers appear on the earth;

the season of singing has come,

the cooing of doves is heard in our land.

The fig tree forms its early fruit;

the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.

Arise, come, my darling;

my beautiful one, come with me.”

Preaching Notes

I.  Quick Review of Sermon Series

A. 1st 2 Weeks – The Attitude of Marriage

B.  3rd Week – The Five Tasks of Marriage

C.  Last Week and This Week – The Emotion of Marriage

II.  The Song of Solomon

A.  Read Chapter 4:1-5 (stop at 3rd word)

B.  Did not know stuff like this was in the Bible

C.  Background on Song of Songs (Solomon)

Not God focused

Rather reality of God’s plan and/or creation

D.  Romance and physical intimacy as critical emotional aspect of marriage

Part of God’sPlan

Teachings in today’s sermon – focus of Song of Songs

E.  Last week Love as 1st or 2 primary emotions of marriage

Love is not the anchor or foundation of marriage

Rather it is the root of all life in marriage.

F.  Romance and physical intimacy is 2nd primary emotion of marriage

Romance and physical intimacy – a unified emotion

With 2 variations in manifestation

Romance – the dance – the love song

Physical intimacy – the unity, the two becoming one flesh

III.  “Romance and physical intimacy is the flower of marriage”

A. No one admires or smells leaves and stem of a flower

B.  The flower/blossom is source of fragrance and beauty of plant

C.  The blossom draws the birds and the bees

D.  Without the blossom, a flower is no more than a weed

The weed may endure, because of the root of love

But will do so without beauty or value

E.  These same trues hold for a marriage

Without romance and physical intimacy

A marriage becomes bittersweet, cold, and lonely

IV.  Both Husband and Wife need Romance and Physical Intimacy 

A.  Romance and physical intimacy – fulfills 3 critical need in relationship

For men  is key source of admiration

For women is key source of adoration

For both a critical source of affirmation

B.  One emotion, emotive reality

Cannot have one without the other

Truth is:

Without romance, women are not drawn to physical intimacy

Without physical intimacy men are not drawn to romance”

Reality is:

Without both, each one dies and so does the marriage

C. How Much is Needed

A Grandmother’s advice to her Granddaughter

Relationship Studies

My counsel – both needed in some degree/form everyday

D.  When romance and physical intimacy is missing

Two key realities replace them

Seeking to replace

Bittersweetness with sweetness

Cold with warmth

Loneliness with companionship

E.  1st Replacement is fighting

The 3rd source of intimacy in relationships

F.  2nd Replacement is a replacement relationship

Work or hobby

Addiction or obsessive/destructive behavior

An affair or inappropriate relationship

G.  Both of these replacements will, in time,

Destroy the blossom and kill the root

V. Guidelines for Romance and physical intimacy in marriage

A.  Romance communicates your desire for your spouse

Simple or elaborate, yet personal and genuine expression

B.  Physical intimacy is communicates your unique unity with your spouse

Meaningful touching, coming together

C.  Joe Hackney flowers for Bess

Once a week

Variations with simple note

After stroke

Significant source of encouragement for Bess’ week

Alway in eyesight, fresh in memory

After death

Provided for continuance in his will

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